Way to deep?
by ahuvati
Summary: What if everything they know about Red is a lie as he said. How will they react towards the truth?
1. Chapter 1

**WAY TO DEEP?**

**A/N:Hello there it has been a long time…way to long?...well anyway I'm kinda of back now. This story is totally up to my pen friend, my Motehka, to RU12 who gave me this idea once some time ago…..just enjoy the reading.**

**Disclaimer: The personages aren't mine…the plot isn't even totally mine….**

It was just an ordinary day for the FBI's task force or so it seemed, Raymond ´Red´ Reddington was explaining who the next blacklister would be giving enough information to make them curious but just that. None of them was aware of how much their life was about to change…

When their little meeting was about to end three men entered the room like they owned to place. The men on the sides were SEAL's and the man from the middle was in his late 50's early 60's and had an autorative air around him. The whole room froze and Red who had his back to the doors turned around to face the men. Recognition flickered in his eyes when he saw them.

"Director White." Said Red looking at the man in the middle analyzing him.

"Special Agent Reddington, it's a pleasure to see you." The man said smiling. Now the whole room looked like they had been slapped across the face, no one dared to move.

"Well sir, I don't know if I can say the same..."

"Don't be so distrusting Ray, I'm telling you it is." He answered giving one of the SEAL's a left one handed some documents to Red. Who took them rudely before reading them, while he did he looked up to the director and down again. He read it servile times before leaning on the table and asking in disbelieve.

"It's over?"

"Yes Raymond after more than 20 years of undercover work we have got them. You did an excellent job these years…and from what I can see here you even found an agency that is interested in your list."

At the words of director White the whole room saw how Red's mask fell they saw relieve and happiness on his face he looked like the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders only to see it replaced by the double of it in mere seconds. They saw how his shoulders slumped down and heard him ask in defeat.

"What am I to do now?"

"_what am I to do now?"_just as the task force thought they would see pig flying they heard him ask this question, this wasn't the confident criminal they knew but a broken man…

"What are you to do now? I don't know. Go home find your daughter…" the director was interrupted by Red who had jumped up and way boiling with anger and rage.

"GO HOME, GO HOME?... That's funny as far as I know I have no home not anymore. And sure why don't I go and find my daughter WHO I HAD TO ABANDON after part of the operation went to hell because you!" Pointing at the director with his finger. "You could not do your job.!" While he had been talking he had became more and more angry causing Dembe to grab him from behind and place an arm around his chest and waist holding him and his arms in place afraid of what he might do. Aram was the first in the room abele to react and walked over to them placing his left hand on Red's right shoulder causing the man to look at him briefly to see him shaking his head, Aram hoped his presence was somehow calming the distressed man.

"Special Agent Reddinton keep your behavior one bay or I will find the need to report you. Now your anger is totally understandable but don't focus it one my person I have done nothing wrong…"

"Nothing wrong?... my ass you should have protected them..."

This time it was Ressler who moved, sensing than this was going to far. He and Red might not be the best friends but no one should go through this and have his superiors cleaning their feet onto them like they were nothing more than dirt…lesser after losing everything and working 20 plus putting their lives in danger. He placed a hand on Reds other shoulder and squeezed it before moving between him and the director looking said man in the eye.

"sorry for being rude and all that, but I think it's time for you to leave. It's not like you people are not welcome here or anything but you should do it before we can't held him any longer." Nodding in Reds direction. "I think him scary when he is calm and I would not want to be the end of his anger you know? No one can save you once he puts his head on it even your SEALs will look like guppies once he starts…"This made White shiver of course he knew of what Red was capable before his criminal live he didn't want to know what he was capable now. He took Resslers hind and left the room followed by his men.

After White and his men left the room jumped to live. DA Cooper shoed most of the people out telling them that what had just happened would not leave the room or else he would have their jobs and heads on a silver plate. Liz pushed a chair in Reds direction while she was still processing what had just happened. Between Ressler, Aram and Dembe they got Red to sit down on the chair after some work. His eyes were burning with rage and anger, his hands were fists, his mouth was set in a thigh line and his whole body was tensed. Meera handed some tea to Dembe who after nodding his thanks offered it to Red without any response.

"Raymond?"Dembes voice was soft and just above a whisper. This caused Red to look him in the eye and tilt his head in response. " Are you alright?" The only answer he got was a small nod.

"Reddington, I know that this might sound clever and lame all the same, but if you need anything I'm here you know where to find me." This coming from Ressler made them all look at him like he had grown another head(except Red who still seemed lost in his own world), even DA Cooper and Dembe where frowning at him. "What?!" He said throwing his hands in the air.

"He is right, if you need me…just do what you always do." Said Liz who had first recovered from the 100th shock of the day, squeezing his hand.

"I am at your service." Came from Aram.

"Anything you need." Said Cooper from behind them. "Malik?"

"uhh ohh yes…24/7 any time any place."

After they all said they're words Red looked up at them and all he saw was genuine concern in their eyes, no pitty just genuine concern. His whole body relaxed causing him to close his eyes, he licked his lips stood up and answered.

"Thank you…"It was all he could say being lost for words.

After this he grabbed his fedora and put it on, and they all saw how when he put his fedora on his mask fell in place to as his mocking smile. He nodded his good-bye and walked out of the room stopping Dembe who was about to follow him.

**A/N: Well what do u think? Why did he stop Dembe? Where will he go? What will he do?...All the answers it the next chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**ZzzWAY TO DEEP?**

**A/N:Hello there this is chapter 2. This story is totally up to my pen friend, my Motehka, to RU12 who gave me this idea once some time ago…..just enjoy the reading.**

**Disclaimer: The personages aren't mine…the plot isn't even totally mine….**

After Red left everyone focused their eyes on Dembe. Who signed, sat down and passed a hand over his face.

"Do you think he will be alright?" Asked Meera to no one in particular even if they all knew it was directed at Dembe.

"In time…I think so, but he never suspected he would live long enough to see the cell going down that is why he created the blacklist so that even if he could not end his mission all those years, pain and blood were not for nothing…" Answered Dembe looking down in defeat.

"You don't think he would do something stupid do you?"

"That depends of what you would call stupid Agent Ressler…Stupid as in going after director White? No, if something is done it will be carefully planed. Stupid as in committing suicide? No, he is to brave to end his live in such a coward way. And stupid as in walking around the city until his legs can't take him any longer causing him to collapse? Yes, definitively."

"Has he done that before?" Asked Liz who was starting to get worried about Red. She didn't like the feeling she had when she had no control of something but she disliked the feeling she had now that even Red had no control over something even more.

"Yes, he does it at last two times a year in a good one…one on his wife's birthday and one on his daughters. And in a bad one he does also do it one every other important day."

"So in a good year twice and in a bad one you lose the count of it?" Asked Aram half concerned half curious.

"Yes. Now if you people excuse me I have to inform Luli and about what has just happened here."

"Of course, but first I have question for you…How many people know about Reddington being a Special Agent?"

"Without counting you people, there are 10. I include myself, Grey, Luli and Mrkapman into them also one of them is death and another doesn't remember."SaidDembe before turning around and leaving the room to God knows where.

Liz had to many questions in her head to really pay attention to Cooper when he told them that he would call a meeting with Director White ASAP to see if he could get Red transferred if that were his wishes. He also had said something about finding a way to clean his name before leaving the room. Once he left the room felt silent because they were all lost in thought when Liz spoke to Ressler.

"Nice save back there…why did you do it you don't even like Red?"

"As I told you the day we met we are sentimental here at the blacksite and criminal or special agent Reddington is one of ours and we always protect our people…..and it's not like I dislike him it's just that we understand each other this way." Said Ressler nodding to himself.

"Oke….Do any of you have a idea as how we can help Red?"

"Well Aram you being our computer geek should see if you can find his daughter, Keen you will keep an eye on Reddington and do what you think might be necessary and Malik you and me are going to look if we can help DA Cooper. Now any questions?" he waited a moment. "No, awesome lets move people."

Liz was at lost in the beginning as how she was going to find Red until she remembered his chip. Usually she would have disliked the idea of invading his privacy but right now she thought he should not be left alone. So after following him from one side to the other of the city he had finally stopped walking in a park. When she left her car she saw him sitting against a tree eyes closed and breathing heavily. She was unsure as how to approximate him so decided to do it slowly in the hope of not breaking his peaceful moment.

"You can sit down you know? I do not bite….yet." He told her without opening his eyes.

"I uh…I was just….." She stuttered unsure of how to explain him why she was there and unsure of how to react towards the fact that he…._had sensed her?_

"It's all right Lizzie there is no harm done really just sit down." He said opening one eye and gesturing the ground beside him after he had laid his jacked down for her.

"Thanks." By these small gestures she knew he cared about the people around him. "How are you?" after not getting an answer she decided to ask something else sensing he wasn't in the mood to talk about his feelings right now. "How was she?..your wife I mean."

"She was wonderful. She was terribly kind, intelligent and a great cheff and a better person, but she had character…" he told her with a sad smile."I remember once when we were just married we were discussing witch gender had invented more things and she told me she knew a invention made by a woman that was useful for all married woman. Do you know what it is?"

"No. Tell me."

"I will give you a hind it was the first time I slept one the couch."

Liz could not help but brust out laughingand was soon followed by Red, after a few minutes and a few tears they were looking at each other when Liz decided to break the silence.

"She sounds like a wonderful person someone I would have loved to know."

"I swear to all Gods that you would have loved her and she you." He told her pulling a few errand hairs that were falling in her face behind her ear. He left his hand there cupping her cheek. "I miss her…God knows I miss them….I miss that life." He took a deep breath and dropped his hand, Liz cached it and entailed their fingers caressing his knuckles with her thumb.

"You could always go looking for her… Tell her the truth and try to be part of her life….I'm not saying that it will be easy, but I think you have to try. She has the right to know that what you did was an act of love and not cowered."

"I don't know Lizzie. It might be the best if it stays the way it is. She has her own life you know a career and I'm proud of who she is… beside that she has her own father who was a good and honest man. Why do you think she would welcome me with open arms?"

"Because if she doesn't she isn't worth the pain, tears and years of worry…if she doesn't she just isn't worth it." He wanted to interrupt her but she didn't let him. "No Red don't. Look at me even if I had Sam and called him dad for a long time, I know deep inside that it was never the same as with my own father… I don't remember much even so I have this fussy memory about a song, but you know that I never felt as save as in that memory…until you came into my live of course. What I'm trying to say is that if the day of tomorrow my father shows up on my doorstep and has a good reason as to why he did what he did I would welcome him."

"Really just like that?"

"No, not just like that I'm sure it would take time, but yes really." She told him firmly. And she could hear him planning.

"So what do you recommend me? Show up on her door step at night and just go for the : Hello dear, I am your father and I left you all those years ago because I was undercover?"

"Not so direct you beast…I think you should take the documents that verify what you say with you. And dress simpler." At this Red looked hurt. "And if you are going to show up at night take pizza or Chinese with you….aahh and above all be yourself Raymond Reddington nickname Red not Red Reddington FBI's most wanted."

"You are right. I might even do it." He told her moving his arm so that it laid over her shoulders still holding her hand in his.

"I'm not saying you should do it right now just that you should think about it." She said leaning into his warmth and lying her head on his shoulder.

"Thanks sweetheart for everything." And they just sat there watching the park in silence.

Ressler and Meera hadn't had much luck helping the director because they could not do very much for him. So walking towards Aram's work station they hoped he had more luck than them. They found him working hard in his station looking everywere.

"Hey Aram how are you doing?" Asked Ressler.

"Got anything?" Came from Meera.

"I'm sorry guys but I followed every step Reddington made in his live…. I even found a half brother of him and talked with the man who told me he had not seen nor spoken with his elder brother in 20 years the last time he was 16….I have no clue idea where his daughter could be, so I have just tried CODIS hoping that something comes out."

"Yeah sure like that would happen…" Said Ressler as Aram's computer indicated it had found something.

"Let's have a look. His half brother, his nephews and ooh oooh. Guys we have a problem." He turned the computer around so that Ressler and Meera could see what it was.

"Holly shit we do have.."Said Ressler and Meera only nodded in agreement.

**A/N: Well what do u think? What will Red do? Why does Cooper have problems? And why do the guys have a problem?...All the answers it the next chapter.**


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